so this housewife decided to rewrite the harry potter series into christian books so that her kids wont be reading about witchcraft and i just cant eveN BREATHE BC THIS IS SO HYSTERICAL
read it here:
what in the actual fuck
This is gold.
Hagrid laughed wisely. “Evolution is a fairytale. You don’t really believe that, do you?”
"Yes, I do!" Aunt Petunia screeched.
"Well then prove it!"
Aunt Petunia could only stare at him; and her big mouth hung open dumbly. Here she thought she was so educated; and always demanded that Christians prove what they believed in; but she couldn’t even prove her own religion. It was then that Harry knew who the smart one here was!
"Tell me how to get to this heaven place!" Harry cried wistfully, clasping his hands together. Sometimes, the wisdom of little ones is really amazing. We think we grownups know it all; but then God speaks through the mouths of little ones; and shows us how we are all mortals struggling along the path of life. Humility.
Harry gaped at this horrible person. What a mean thing to say!
"Women shouldn’t not have careers because women are stupid!" Harry shouted indignantly. "Women are not stupid at all! Women should not have careers because women are nurturing and loving and their gifts serve them best in the home!"
Draco gasped tentatively. “You are diluting the truth! Women are beneath men!”
"No, I’m not!" Harry fired back bravely. "You are twisting the truth so you can be mean with it! Women are not beneath men! Men and women are just different!"
Luna smiled at him gratefully.
Draco was clearly fumbling for ground here-there is not much ground to stand on when you are being hateful!-but he finally came up with, “Well, at least I don’t eat with Slytherin Hats! I hate Slytherins!”
Ronald began to cry into his oatmeal.
"I don’t hate Slytherin Hats!" Harry declared boldly. "I think they should become Gryffindor Hats; but that is because I love them! Besides, the Lord ate with sinners all the time!”
"Thank you, Harry," Ronald whispered tearfully.
"Well-well-you should just become a Ravenclaw Hat, like me," Draco sputtered blusteringly. "We really are the best Hat."
"I think you mean, ‘We really are the most hateful hat,’” Harry corrected cleverly; and then he jumped up onto the table; and he got down on his knees; and he raised his hands to the ceiling of the Great Hall; and he bellowed, “Dear Lord, I have made my decision! I am a GRYFFINDOR HAT!”
1) what is a hat
2) why are the weasleys slytherins
3) why is luna hufflepuff
4) why is draco ravenclaw
5) Ronald began to cry into his oatmeal.
Emotion of the day: Ronald began to cry into his oatmeal
what the hell is going on here
Baby Getting A Chest X-Ray
This device is used to immobilize young children in order to get their x-rays, when a child is very sick and an x-ray is needed to diagnose them. It does NOT hurt them at all. Taking multiple images of a moving baby, in order to get the least blurry one is more harmful because then the child is exposed to radiation for a longer period of time.
This device, which again does NOT hurt them, allows for a technologist to grab chest images of a child as fast and as efficiently as possible. The children may sometimes cry, and get frustrated but only because they are not familiar with this device. This is typically used for babies under 25 Ibs or around 2 years old. If interested you can hear how it works from a technologist himself (What He Has To Say) (More Information)
At first glance I genuinely thought this was a baby in a blender
will it blend (baby)
one of my favorite things is when you give a baby your finger and they hold on to it as tight as they can. it’s funny because they don’t even come close to having the amount of muscle power i do. do you really think you can hold me here haha. i’ll crush you
Some of my favorite anime fansubs